image45

THE STORY


In their first literary effort since a failed attempt to claim copyright ownership of The Bible, authors Dick and December Bouvier serve up a story that romps like a fat kid in a cupcake factory. 


Trapped under a dead 400 pound car salesman in a cheap motel, a young woman's struggle to survive opens the door to a world of brainless Nazis, sticky Hitler puppets, remorseless urine bombings, and paramilitary-style Catholic fundraising.   



EXCERPTS


"Every afternoon, Sandy Lynn Beech drank her lunch in the service department with Ju-Long Garcia, a half-Chinese, half-Cuban midget with an eight-inch tongue that made him both popular with the ladies and a skilled car detailer. Belvin usually choked down a ham and cheese while his stacked, redheaded assistant, Deedee, choked him down from underneath his desk."


 "Constance Anne was simply grateful that she wouldn't be bumping into her mother's crack-ass boyfriends in the dark anymore. That went twice for Geronimo, a shirtless Jalapeno Indian who sniffed gasoline in a zip lock bag and occasionally terrorized her by swapping out his glass eye for a Brussels sprout."


 "The investigation ended abruptly when the lawmaker, a respected family man, was found in a public toilet with five bullets in the back of his head. At the time of his death, he was cradled in the arms of a sobbing Armenian prostitute named Marshmallow. The coroner, whose wife worked as a highly-paid cleavage stylist for the archdiocese, said the death was the worst suicide he'd ever seen."